Procrastinating Reality

For the past two months, I have been procrastinating reality.

My blog has become such a huge part of my life. It is where I go to record the day-to-day happenings in our family. It’s where I go to record life.

For the past two months, I have avoided writing and recording about my grandmother’s passing. Deep down inside, I thought, if I don’t record it, if I don’t put down in words what happened, maybe just maybe, it wouldn’t be true.

Last week, I traveled home to Tennessee. Sunday afternoon, Uncle Melvin and Papa came over for dinner. Mimi wasn’t with them. I was hit with reality.

There is now a new normal when I go to Nashville. A little blue Buick will no longer pull up to visit with the excuse “I was just in the neighborhood.” My babies will no longer be rocked to sleep with the gentle humming of “Jesus is Lord.” I will no longer be able to catch up with the going ons of Nashville with my Mimi.

The reality is Mimi's not here. She is in a better place. A place full of happiness and no more tears. Even so, it is hard for those left behind. Mom has had to learn a new daily ritual that doesn’t involve checking in with her Mom at 9:00 every morning. Papa has to go on with out his loving spouse of 60+ years. Uncle Melvin jokingly said he’s now in charge of the laundry. We all have to adjust to life with out the gentle, caring Spirit of my Mimi.

I have spent some time over the past two days recording the events of last December here on my blog. I wrote not for anyone else but for me. I want to remember the special times I was able to share with Mimi at the end and the loving memories that I will carry with me.

It is nothing more than my ramblings as I came face to face with the reality that Mimi was gone and I was sad. Nothing more than realizing the impact she had on my life and the knowledge that her love lives on in all those left behind.

I have laughed, cried and remembered.